Longing For Love

“And she conceived again and bore a son, and said, ‘This time I will praise the Lord.’ Therefore she called his name Judah. Then she ceased bearing.” – Genesis 29:35

Names seem important in Leah’s life. We are introduced to her by name in Genesis 29:16: “The name of the older was Leah, and the name of the younger was Rachel.” While “Rachel” is from the Hebrew word for ewe, perhaps anticipating her job as a shepherdess, “Leah” is from the Hebrew la’ah, meaning “weary; to tire, be exhausted.” Doesn’t seem like the most favorable name for a child. The next verse literally says, “Rachel had a good figure, and on top of that was beautiful,” which suggests by contrast that Leah’s eye weakness was a cosmetic one. She grows up in this context, is aware she is not desired at her wedding, sees her husband trying to get another wife for seven years, and thereafter is the less-favored wife.

But God sees Leah, and we see this progression in the names she gives her sons:

Reuben, Hebrew Re’uwben, from ra’ah (see!) and ben (son), “because the Lord has looked upon my affliction; for now my husband will love me”

Simeon, Hebrew Shim-own, from shama (hear), “because the Lord has heard that I am hated, he has given me this son also”

Levi, Hebrew Leviy, from lavah (to twine, attach), “now this time my husband will be attached to me, because I have borne him three sons”

Judah, Hebrew Yehuwdah, from yadah (to praise, to confess), “this time I will praise the Lord”

We see here a kind of conversation between Leah and God. God initiates by opening Leah’s womb. Leah realizes God has seen her. She realizes God has heard her. She is able to name her suffering, how she feels afflicted and hated. But she still throughout longs for love from her husband. God does not stop speaking to her—he gives her son, after son, after son, after son, until we hear her response: I will praise the Lord. The word yadah is translated elsewhere both “give thanks” and “confess.” It literally means “to throw, cast,” and can have the connotation of extended hands. I picture Leah here, hands extended as she holds her fourth son, this word of confession and praise rising up in response to God’s fourth answer to her. Somehow, along the way, she changed.

Ruth Haley Barton writes in Sacred Rhythms that our longings are the truest thing about us. I see unmet longings for love all around me: longing for romantic love, for love from a father or mother or friend. Longing for union, longing to be taken care of, longing to not feel lonely. So much of the spiritual journey is in naming our longings and finding them met in God’s presence. Leah’s journey is all of ours. 

God, of course, continues the conversation, for it is through Judah’s line that Jesus comes. As Sally Lloyd-Jones writes in The Jesus Storybook Bible: “This Prince would love God’s people. They wouldn’t need to be beautiful for him to love them. He would love them with all of his heart. And they would be beautiful because he loved them. Like Leah.”