Married to Christ

“My beloved is mine, and I am his.” – Song of Solomon 2:16

“Late it was that I loved you, beauty so ancient and so new, late I loved you!” – St. Augustine

Before we got married, Dave was a self-declared “bachelor till the rapture.” He (and I) were happily single: I because I was too absorbed in my studies, he because he recognized the greater freedom he had as a single to follow Jesus, which at the time meant traveling on missions trips, exploring different careers, caring for his parents, and helping plant a church. But all that changed when we met, and because of the constraints of medical training, we had to consider each other in making major life decisions far earlier than perhaps we naturally would have. Dave transferred medical schools so we could live in the same city; I gave up a fellowship so we could spend more time together.

The fact is, people who are married have to give consideration to their spouse all the time: they simply don’t have the control over their time, money, and decisions that single people do. The Bible says that marriage is an analogy of our relationship with Christ, our bridegroom (John 3:29)—yet, spiritually speaking, many of us live as if we were single rather than married. Pastor Iain Duguid puts it this way: “If you are married to Christ, is that relationship the center of your thinking? Do you find yourself dreaming about him, lost in amazement at how wonderful Christ is, how incredible it is that he should love you, and longing for more of his presence? Do you constantly wear out your friends and relations with your endless chatter about how wonderful your Beloved is? If you are anything like me, the answer most of the time is ‘No.’ I have to admit to living most of the time as a functional single, spiritually speaking. Every now and then I bump into Christ, as it were, and am reminded that we are married… Much of the time I am so absorbed with my own earthly desires and projects that I admit to my shame that he never even crosses my mind.”

Do we remember we are married to Christ, or do we function like spiritual singles? Do we make all of our decisions with him in mind? More than that, do we dream about and long for him the way the bride does in Song of Solomon? St. Augustine writes: “You called, you cried out, you shattered my deafness: you flashed, you shone, you scattered my blindness: you breathed perfume, and I drew in my breath and I pant for you: I tasted and I am hungry and thirsty: you touched me, and I burned for your peace.”