The Way of the Request

“Then the king said to me, ‘What are you requesting?’” – Nehemiah 2:4

When Nehemiah hears the news that an attempt to rebuild the wall of Jerusalem had failed (Ezra 4:23), he responds with weeping, fasting and prayer. As a cupbearer, he was the chief financial officer, bore the signet ring, and likely served as the wine taster. He had ready access to the king, yet it was nearly four months before he made his ask. When the king finally noticed his sadness, Nehemiah felt “very much afraid” (2:2), perhaps because the king was known to punish those who were sorrowful in his presence (Esther 4:2). Nevertheless, after hearing the reason for Nehemiah’s sadness, the king puts this question to him: what are you asking for?

When was the last time you asked for something? Not used a question as a veiled command (“can you take out the trash?”) or request for information (“why did you do that?”), but as a genuine request? It’s hard to ask. It’s easier to take and demand, or deny and ignore. True asking requires I give attention to what I truly need or truly want. It requires that I share that vulnerably. It puts the power of granting entirely in the other’s hands. It leaves me only able to receive. To ask is to approach in humility. Dallas Willard writes, “We try to ‘manage’ or control those closest to us by blaming and condemning them and by forcing upon them our ‘wonderful solutions’ for their problems. [God] then shows us a truly effective and gracious way of caring for and helping the people we live… It is the way of the request, of asking.”

Nehemiah makes his asks of the king. But the king was not the first one he asked. Months before this (4:11) and even during it (2:4), he had been asking God. Jesus says, “ask, and it will be given to you” (Matthew 5:7). Asking exposes the nature of our relationship with someone, and Jesus says there is something about our relationship with God the Father that we can only experience when we ask. What are you asking for today?