Let Me Hear Joy And Gladness

“So David sent messengers and took her, and she came to him, and he lay with her.” – 2 Samuel 11:4

“Let me hear joy and gladness… Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.” – Psalm 51:8, 12

In this section of 2 Samuel, we see the horrific results of sexual sin in David’s life. And yet, in his prayer of repentance in Psalm 51, he does not mention sex at all. As one person wrote, “Why isn’t he crying out for sexual restraint? Why isn’t he praying for men to hold him accountable? Why isn’t he praying for protected eyes and sex-free thoughts? The reason is that he knows that sexual sin is a symptom, not the disease. People give way to sexual sin because they don’t have the fullness of joy and gladness in Christ. Their spirits are not steadfast and firm and established. They waver. They are enticed, and they give way because God does not have the place in our feelings and thoughts that he should.”

I don’t know how intentional this lack of mention of sex in Psalm 51 is, but it is interesting to read it as a response to sexual sin. Circumstantial accountability and other practical measures may be important, but that is not what David asks for—he asks for a renewed spirit. He asks for restored joy in his salvation. And something about that rings true to me. Pathological guilt is of limited help in combating sexual sin. Sometimes it isn’t even about sex at all, but rather anger, boredom, weariness, insecurity, or some other underlying issue. The battle at heart is a spiritual one, and the solution ultimately must be as well. We learn to fight sexual sin by learning to love God more. We cry out, let me hear your joy and gladness. We learn to hear by marinating ourselves in the Word, by seeing Jesus as so holy and precious to us that we hate anything that keeps us from seeing and following him better. In moments of struggle we cry out for the Holy Spirit to uphold us with a willing spirit.

I was reading Thomas Merton’s writings on solitude when I came across this unexpected passage: “One vitally important aspect of solitude is its intimate dependence on chastity… Nowhere is self-denial more important than in the area of sex, because this is the most difficult of all natural appetites to control and one whose undisciplined gratification completely blinds the human spirit to all interior light… self-control is not only desirable but altogether possible and it is essential for the contemplative life. It demands considerable effort, watchfulness, patience, humility and trust in Divine grace. But the very struggle for chastity teaches us to rely on a spiritual power higher than our own nature, and this is an indispensable preparation for interior prayer. Furthermore, chastity is not possible without ascetic self-sacrifice in many other areas. It demands a certain amount of fasting, it requires a very temperate and well-ordered life, modesty, restraint of curiosity, moderation of one’s aggressivity, and many other virtues. Perfect chastity establishes one in a state of spiritual solitude, peace, tranquility, clarity, gentleness and joy in which one is fully disposed for meditation and contemplative prayer.”

Jesus said, “Blessed are the pure in heart, for they shall see God” (Matthew 5)—and while this refers to much more than sexual purity, that is certainly included. It’s interesting to consider this in light of Merton’s thoughts. It’s interesting to see how our conduct in this area of our lives bleeds so heavily, for good or ill, into other areas of our lives. If David’s story tells us anything, it is that we all can have these struggles. We all need to pray his prayer.